Computer's Not Working...The Diet Still Is

19 weeks of 20 weeks

weight today: same

total lost: 12 pounds in 20 weeks

Actual fitness: 50 minute leg work-out, abdominals, five mile run in 48 minutes

Today's challenge: I felt like giving up on my diet, missing the computer

Computer's Not Working...

The Diet Still Is

Hi everyone! I'm actually typing this at our local library. I had to pay my library fine before I could get on their computers though. Don't even ask how much my fine was...too much.

So, yesterday, our computer started acting up. I couldn't get online and even the applications on the desk top wouldn't open up. I couldn't open into my file of pictures, hence, the reason there are no pictures today.

My husband actually read me your comments during his break at work today. Yes, he is very thoughtful like that. He knew I would be missing checking in. I was also touched by everyone's kind words about the last post I wrote. I felt a little vulnerable admitting that I cried, but being on a diet and denying yourself certain foods is hard no matter how you look at it. This whole process is deeply tied into our emotions which is why losing weight is such a huge endeavor for people. If it were easy everyone would be doing it. And some days are harder than other days.

Yesterday, we had a huge multi-birthday party at our house. There were seven birthday cakes. I took several pictures. Food was served potluck style. There was this one dish that my sister-in-law made (the pregnant one) which had striped chocolate cookies crumbled on top and was made with some type of cool whip. Oh...it looked mouthwatering. I took a picture of it and a few other delicious high calorie foods.

After everyone had served up their food and I had fed our children, I pulled out my rice, chicken and made up a salad. I also made up a salad for my dad because he is also not eating any sugar and he has to watch his sodium because he has heart issues.

I totally stuck to my diet. My dad even offered me a bite of sugar free pie that my mom had made him, but I wouldn't even take a bite of that.

Then, today, we still had some cupcakes left over from the party. I was actually having some urges to just throw in the towel with this whole diet. At one point, I got really close to the cupcakes and inhaled the scent of frosting and cake. It was intoxicating. But I didn't eat it.

I'm not going to throw in the towel, however. But I thought about it. I thought about how it would be easier to just give up and eat a cupcake. But I also thought about how I would like to train myself to live life without snacking. I would like to eat more salads and eat more whole foods. I know that processed foods do not give your body the kind of nutrients that it needs. I would like to train myself to enjoy snacks perhaps once a week...and not on a daily basis.

But it is hard when you first start out. After three days of not running, I went on a much needed 5-miler tonight. I'm in a much better mood because of it.

Until we can get our computer fixed, I won't be posting pictures or my food diary. I'm at home with the kids all day, so I can only get online during the evening. I'm really hoping this is all taken care of by this weekend so that I can post pictures for the end of my 20 weeks. During this week I also will not be able to visit as many blogs...and believe me I'm already missing you all.

It was very strange to not get on the computer today. I actually started cleaning up all the crap that was sitting near the computer. Heck, maybe I'll actually be more productive this week.

See, always got to look at the positive side to things.

Hope you all have a good week!